Each morning we are confronted with the challenges of a new day. The sun rises and brings with it responsibility. We busy ourselves with all the things we need to accomplish, all the callings that we have been given by God’s gracious hand. Certainly, day is filled with duties and challenges and barriers to overcome.
And then there is night.
I have found that nighttime can be even more wearying, unsettling, and troublesome than the day. How often do the children of God pace the floors at night, unable to sleep? We have not grown out of our childhood fears of the darkness that blankets the room, of the monsters that lie wait in it. The trials that are faced during the daytime come back as the evening light fades, to plague the mind and the soul. The things we fear most come out at night. We lie awake in our beds with our minds swirling, stomachs churning, our hearts aching. Our wide eyes stare into the empty darkness searching for something to grasp: a plan, an idea, a fix for that mistake, something to fill the void, a comfort to soothe the hurt, or peace to slow the mind and calm the nerves, just enough so that sleep will come and engulf the fear for just a little while.
I experienced this nightly during my two years of nursing school. At around nine p.m. as I began to lay out my scrubs, name badge, stethoscope, and other tools I’d need for my clinical shift the next day, fear showed up and gripped my heart. All of the poor outcomes that could possibly meet me in my shift the next morning would swirl through my head and the dread that mounted would stay with me long after my head hit the pillow. My alarm clock was always set for 4:45 a.m., and as those numbers played through my head along with the trepidation, I longed for sleep to cover me. I kept my eyes shut tight as the minutes rolled by and brought me closer to 4:45, as I hoped and waited to slip into that sweet oblivion for just a few hours. It was miserable, and to this day I have not forgotten the feeling. However, one night before a clinical shift, as I read from the Psalms, I found the perfect calm for my disquiet.
Psalm 4:8 – “I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety.”
The something that our wide eyes search for in the night is the Lord. Only He can fill the void and scatter the fears, and the doubt, and the questions. His love is safe, it is protecting, it is calming. It answers the questions and quiets the weary soul. We can lay down in peace because His arms are holding us safely.
Psalm 3:5 – “I laid me down and slept; I awaked; for the Lord sustained me.”
He grants the blessedness of sleep, and only He is able to wake us or not wake us, whatever His sovereign will purposes to do. And not only does He wake us, but He sustains us, He strengthens us to open our eyes and meet the tasks we are called to do that day. How perfectly true is that children’s prayer so many of us know by heart?
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
Guard me safely through the night
Wake me with the morning light.
Proverbs 3:24 – “When thou liest down, thou shalt not be afraid: yea, thou shalt lie down, and thy sleep shall be sweet.”
The Lord is our Protector against the things that haunt us at night. He is the source of peace and comfort in the darkness when our eyes stay open wide and our hearts are filled with fear. He holds us close as we lie down and tells us not to be afraid. He gently closes our eyes and covers us with the sweetest sleep.
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